The teenage years can be a challenging time for both young people and their parents. During adolescence, teenagers experience many physical, emotional and social changes. They may become more independent, spend more time with friends, or communicate less with their parents. Some mood changes are a normal part of growing up. However, sometimes changes in behaviour or emotions can be a sign that a young person is finding things difficult and may need additional support.
As a nurse with a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree in Nursing and around ten years of professional experience in psychiatric nursing, I understand how important it is to notice changes in emotional wellbeing and to create a safe space where young people can talk about their feelings.
Understanding changes in your teenager
It is normal for teenagers to have different moods. They may be happy one day and frustrated or quiet the next. School, friendships, family relationships, exams, social media and worries about the future can all affect how they feel.
The important thing is to look for changes from your teenager’s usual behaviour.
For example, you may notice that your teenager:
– becomes much quieter than usual
– stops enjoying activities they normally like
– spends significantly more time alone
– becomes unusually irritable or angry
– has difficulty sleeping or sleeps much more than usual
– experiences changes in appetite
– finds it difficult to concentrate
– stops seeing friends
– appears worried, sad or overwhelmed
– becomes very critical of themselves
– has difficulty managing everyday responsibilities.
One change on its own does not necessarily mean that something is wrong. Teenagers can experience temporary stress and difficult emotions. However, if several changes continue for some time or begin to affect everyday life, it may be worth paying closer attention.
Look beyond the behaviour
Sometimes emotional difficulties do not look like sadness.
A teenager who is struggling may appear angry, argumentative or difficult. They may refuse to talk, spend a lot of time in their bedroom or react strongly to small situations.
It can be tempting for parents to focus only on the behaviour and say, “Why are you behaving like this?”
A more helpful approach can be to ask:
“I have noticed that things seem difficult for you recently. Is there anything you would like to talk about?”
This does not mean that every behaviour should be accepted. Parents can still have boundaries and expectations. At the same time, trying to understand what may be behind the behaviour can make communication easier.
Creating a safe space to talk
Teenagers may not always want to talk when a parent asks them to. This does not necessarily mean that they do not trust their parent.
Sometimes they need time.
Try choosing a calm moment rather than starting a serious conversation during an argument. A car journey, a walk or another relaxed activity can sometimes make conversation feel less formal.
You do not need to have all the answers.
Listening can be more important than immediately trying to solve the problem.
You could say:
“You don’t have to explain everything now. I’m here when you’re ready.”
This can help a young person understand that support is available without pressure.
Social media and online life
A teenager’s emotional world can also be strongly influenced by their online experiences.
Social media can help young people maintain friendships and find communities where they feel understood. However, it can also expose them to comparison, bullying, negative comments, unrealistic expectations and pressure to look or behave in a certain way.
Parents may not always know what is happening online.
Instead of simply asking, “What are you doing on your phone?”, it may be more useful to ask:
“How do you feel after spending time online?”
This can open a conversation about positive and negative experiences without immediately becoming a conflict about screen time.
When should a parent seek professional support?
Parents do not need to wait until a situation becomes severe before asking for help.
Consider seeking professional advice if emotional or behavioural changes are persistent, becoming more intense, or interfering with areas such as school, sleep, relationships, eating or everyday activities.
Support can begin with a GP, public health or community service, school support service, counsellor, psychologist or another appropriate healthcare professional, depending on the situation and local services available.
Asking for help does not mean that a parent has failed. It can simply mean that the family is taking the young person’s wellbeing seriously.
Take comments about self-harm or suicide seriously
Some conversations require urgent attention.
If a teenager talks about wanting to die, not wanting to be alive, hurting themselves, or feeling that their family would be better off without them, these comments should always be taken seriously.
Try to remain calm and listen without judging or dismissing what they are saying. Avoid telling them that they are “just being dramatic” or that they have “nothing to worry about”.
If you believe your teenager is in immediate danger, has seriously harmed themselves, or may act on thoughts of suicide, seek urgent medical help or contact emergency services.
Asking a young person directly about suicide or self-harm does not mean that you are putting the idea into their head. A calm and direct conversation can help you understand what they are experiencing and whether they need urgent help.
Parents do not have to manage everything alone
It can be difficult for parents to know where the line is between normal teenage behaviour and a situation that needs professional support.
You do not have to make this decision alone.
If you are concerned, talking to a healthcare professional can help you understand what may be happening and what support might be appropriate. Sometimes early support can prevent difficulties from becoming more serious.
Parents can also involve other trusted adults when appropriate. This might include a teacher, school counsellor, GP, community nurse or another healthcare professional who already knows the young person.
The most important thing is that the teenager knows that they are not alone.
Supporting your teenager while seeking help
While professional support is being arranged, small things at home can still make a difference.
Try to maintain regular routines around sleep, meals, school and activities where possible. Encourage some physical activity and time away from screens, but avoid turning every conversation into a discussion about rules.
Give your teenager opportunities to spend time with people they trust.
Most importantly, continue to show interest in them as a person rather than focusing only on the problem.
You can say:
“I may not understand exactly how you are feeling, but I want to understand.”
or:
“We can work through this together.”
Sometimes these simple messages can be very reassuring.
Every teenager is different
There is no single sign that tells a parent exactly what a teenager is experiencing. Some young people become withdrawn, while others become more irritable or argumentative. Some may continue to perform well at school while struggling privately.
This is why noticing changes from the young person’s usual behaviour is important.
Parents know their children well. If something feels noticeably different or you are increasingly concerned, it is reasonable to ask for advice.
Seeking support is not a sign of failure. It is an important part of caring for a young person.
Final thoughts
The teenage years can bring challenges, but they can also be an important time for developing independence, confidence and emotional resilience.
Parents do not need to have all the answers. Sometimes the most helpful thing is simply to notice a change, listen without judgement and let a teenager know that they do not have to face difficult feelings alone.
Early conversations can open the door to support.
And sometimes, the most important words a parent can say are very simple:
“I am here. You can talk to me when you are ready.”
This article is for general information and does not replace an individual assessment or professional medical advice. If you are concerned about a young person’s mental health or safety, seek advice from an appropriate healthcare professional or urgent service.
Iwona Wozniak
Registered Adult nurse
Sybillauluru@gmail.com